"I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free" "Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West"
"Surely every car is a people carrier?" "What's the difference between a 'hippo' and a 'Zippo'? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter" "If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn't go" "Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That's not a miracle. That's tapas" "Red sky at night. Shepherd's delight. Blue sky at night. Day" "The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves" "Clowns divorce. Custardy battle" "They're always telling me to live my dreams. But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for..." "I never lie on my CV…because it creases it." "If you don't know what introspection is you need to take a long, hard look at yourself" "I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time" "Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman. It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't" "Let me tell you a little about myself. It's a reflexive pronoun that means 'me'" "Earlier this year I saw "The Theory of Everything" - loved it. Should've been called "Look Who's Hawking", that's my only criticism"

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Best of the jokes from this years Edinburgh Festival

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2 thoughts on “Best of the jokes from this years Edinburgh Festival

  • 25th September 2015 at 10:00 am
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    These are really the best jokes? Well. It confirms one thing for me. Nobody goes there for the laughs. This so called festival is just an annual gathering of the left wing masses so they can bask in the warm glow of their collective self righteousness and compare each others’ pc credentials.

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  • 25th September 2015 at 10:02 am
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    This is the best. Thanks for sharing…

    Reply

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